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Katie Rodriguez
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Question for Katie:
What kind of reactions do you get from people in public settings?
And how do these reactions make you feel? - Susan
Public Responses to my Chair
I've been paralyzed from the chest down for almost fifteen years and how
people react to my paralysis never ceases to amaze me. Just when I think
society is looking at me in a positive light, some saddened soul bursts my
bubble. Let me break it down for you.
THE PITY LOOK These folks look at me with their eyes full of sorrow and disappointment. They see only my limitations and all the things I cannot
do. I imagine if paralysis happened to them, they would see their life as
over and unable to overcome the challenges my life brings.
AREN'T THEY SPECIAL? Some people look at me and label me as "special." I
have mixed feelings. For instance, in St. Louis, Missouri we have "The Special School District" where the students who have
profound physical and cognitive impairments attend classes. Granted these students need a lot
more attention that those without disabilities do, but I think labeling them
(and me because I use a wheelchair) as "special" is a little condescending
and this feeds The Pity Look.
SUPER QUAD Because I live my life to the fullest, in spite of my limitations, others put me on the "disability pedestal," like I'm a heroine.
I've met some parents of kids with disabilities who "pump up" their child so
much, that the child becomes egotistical and difficult to be around. This
treatment is in opposition of The Pity Look but it is just as damaging. Like
everyone, I just want to be treated equally.
IGNORANCE ISN'T BLISS I've been in the company of others who simply ignore
my presence; like I'm not even there. They can't handle even looking at me
in my wheelchair. And some of these folks work in the medical field! On
one such occasion, when my husband Steve and I went out to a restaurant the
waitress asked him what I wanted! Steve responded with "Why don't you ask
her?" Sometimes we get up and leave.
Other Interactions
One afternoon I was at Shaw's Garden, a beautiful place to visit, and was
waiting in a line to see an exhibit. A lady, in her fifties, was standing
in front of me smoking a cigarette and looked at my wheelchair and said with
an arrogant voice, "I need one of those." I hesitated for a moment and then
said, "Well.you get in a car accident, break your neck, you can't walk and
you get one!" She "Well I guess not" and turned around.
When I was in my halo- the metal cage-like device I wore for three months
that held my head while my neck healed- people looked at me like I was from
another planet. Most of the time I ignored their stares, but when I had had
enough, I would say "Take a picture, it will last longer!" Again, for my
own sanity, I have to say what's on my mind.
Going out in a wheelchair means you're gonna meet some insensitive people.
I've called places and asked if they are wheelchair accessible and find steps once I get there. Once place said, "Well we can lift you down the
stairs." I said "No thank you" and left. If I can't get there on my own,
I'm not going. I face enough challenges and I don't want to risk my safety.
How do these reactions affect me? It bums me out. I wish people could accept me as is and treat me equally. But you know what? Some people just
can't. So I swallow my pride and move on. My mom always said "You can't
get blood from a turnip."
My advice; be the best you that you can be, cry a little, laugh a lot and
don't sweat the rest!
Thanks for the question!
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I miss the me I used
to be
Standing on my own
But now wheels go 'round,
Freedom Found,
Independence shown
1992 - Katie Rodriguez Banister
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