Access 4 All - Katie's Korner

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March 2004

Katie’s Korner - Mov'n' On - God & Anger

I recall a visiting nun while in rehab after my auto accident. She looked at me with eyes of pity and said, “You know, this is God’s work. This is God’s plan for you.” I said nothing but my mind went off and running. Personally, I don’t think God is that mean. I don’t think God sits around pointing a finger saying “I give YOU cancer and YOU won’t be able to breathe on your own!” Instead, I think disabilities and diseases, as well as other of life’s challenges, are man made.

People like to blame someone or something when something bad happens. They soon become a victim and crave pity from others. And these people are no fun to be around. I use the term “energy vampires” when describing these folks. They are like ticks that latch onto a blood source and suck till the other is dry. Relationships with people who live this way, really wear me out. But I have now learned to shield myself from people who are takers and not givers. As I approach my 40’s I don’t have time and resources to waste.

Back to God; My God didn’t make my life harder, but instead helps me through it. I talk to God, sometimes internally while relaxing with my eyes closed or externally when I screaming out loud asking God, “Why me?”

Anger is everywhere. I see it when an adult looses their cool and yells at or hits a child. I see it when someone looses a game. I see it when someone has something that another doesn’t. I just wish life was fair. But it isn’t. And it is what we do with our anger and our attitude that affects others.

Bob Frissell who wrote “You Are a Spiritual Being Having a Human Experience” hits the nail on the head with his analogy; “The way that intention translates into action is through attitude. In aeronautics, the attitude of the airplane’s wing is the tilt or angle which makes the plane fly upward or downward. With a sharply angled upward attitude, the plane soars towards the heavens. With a sharply angled downward attitude, the plane heads down to the ground.” A positive attitude costs nothing but it is worth millions.

Find a way to constructively deal with your anger and the attitude it produces. I was raised on what I call the “blow and go” theory. My father would often yell and scream at the top of his lungs and go away. Then he would come back and act like nothing happened. No discussion. No apologies. Nothing! My response was to then cry and my father’s response to that was, “Quit crying or I’ll give you something to cry about!” Well that made me even more angry and unable to deal with many of my life’s challenges.

When I started seeing my current therapist Susan in 1989, I learned that I can’t resolve my issues with the blow and go theory. Instead, I’m all for crying and talking things through or punching a pillow to blow off steam. And I have to tell you, sharing my thoughts with you, the readers of this newsletter is a coping mechanism as well. If sharing my thoughts and experiences helps just one person, I’ve done my job.

It’s OK to get angry and even angry at God. It’s part of the condition of being a human being, living in the third dimension. But the good news is that you’re not the only person on this planet. So reach out to others. In doing so we help ourselves!

Katie Rodriguez Banister works with audiences to embrace diversity through motivational speaking and disability education. You can reach her at 314-821-7011 or at www.access-4-all.com